Tug of War - Action vs Surrender

One of my 3 steps in this experiment is Action. I am proudly calling myself a 'doer', sometimes not so proudly an 'over doer'. I have endless to do lists, I love crossing things off and feel guilty when I watch Netflix instead of completing another few items. They may not always be in order of priority but I love to faff and do.

However, on the other hand we often hear a lot about the words 'surrender', 'let go' and 'detachment' in the spiritual world. Meaning we should let things go and take their own path.

So how much action is too much action and how do you know when to stop, let go, step aside and watch the story unfold in front of you?

- When you see a loved one heading in what you think is the wrong direction, how much action is too much action to interfere vs letting them find their own way?

- When you've applied for a job or completed an interview how much action of ringing and following up is enough vs waiting and seeing what happens?

- When you've messed up on something, how much action of trying to fix it or apologising is enough vs letting it go?

I've found myself in a few of these situations this week walking a tightrope between the two trying to find the right balance.

My fiance and I have been working on our exit plan to move back to the UK of which Plan A sits with my fiancé. I've been mentally contending with my doing style vs his doing style, often stepping over the line. So this week has been a test of uncomfortable patience for me to watch things as they unfold. Still working on this one!

I've also been posting to new social media channels which has been new for me and has felt quite vulnerable. Checking if I've hash-tagged enough, who's liked my posts and following me. I asked my yoga studio owner this week how she managed to create such a beautiful atmosphere at her studio and attract so many like minded people. She responded with something I didn't expect and said that it organically grew like that, she took some action and then let it be, left it to it's own devices and that's what it attracted.

And of course I have an example related to work. I found myself wanting to compensate and fix things that no-one else was to be helpful and fill gaps but I was stepping out of my remit and 'over doing'. Why was I doing this?

I re-read Jennifer Grace's chapter in Directing your Destiny on non-attachment and realised that we tend to 'over do' when we are deeply attached to something as we're scared of the disappointment and suffering that may come as a result of it not turning out the way we expect. In the examples above, I'm attached to my exit plan and how I get back to the UK, I'm attached to what I expect as a result of posting on social media, I'm attached to my reputation at work. Digging deep there's a lot more there that I'm scared of losing and attached to.

As much as we can have powerful intentions it's important we don't get attached to our expectations of HOW they will come true.

Here are another couple of quotes from her book that hit home for me:

'After all the work and preparation has been done, we must detach ourselves from the final outcome' (Jennifer Grace)

And how do we know we're stepping from 'doing' to 'over doing'?

'Our energy is out of alignment when you're too attached' (Jennifer Grace)

I could feel myself overstepping the mark so this week, instead of fighting for work and territories like others, I decided to play around with surrender. I stopped volunteering for tasks as a start. Every time I had the urge to do something over and above, I checked in with myself to see if it was part of my attachments, limiting beliefs and things I'm clinging on to about myself. If it felt out of whack, I stopped and did not do. I let it go and watched things unfold. This was VERY HARD for me! But it's been fun to play around with this week to see what happens. We must have faith that once we've done what we can, the rest will unfold and unravel to reveal the next step.

It's really uncomfortable at first but something to practice. Remember to be a 'doer' but not an 'over doer' and have faith that things will fall into place when the time is right.

The forces are with us as I like to say :)