My First month of Corporate Freedom

No more Corporate, no official job, no structured day of meetings - how has my first month been?

I'll be brave and cut to the chase - I wish i could make this more entertaining for you and say I've been on all of these amazing adventures...but I haven't. I am working on no self judgement as a result of this. And no I haven't been lying in bed doing nothing all day either.

What I can definitely say however is I have NO regrets and cannot imagine doing what I was ever again. Even though I miss certain parts of our life in the US, I have not looked back at leaving my job for more than a second. I occasionally get this scary butterfly feeling that I will have forgotten how to do the job I was doing if I ever needed to go back for income and all of those skills are slowly being erased the less I use them. Hopefully they'll come out when I need them.

I had created this long list of things I would do once I was 'free'. In reality the days have flown by and I have spent most of my first month trying to figure out some form of routine around dropping/picking up my fiance to/from the train station everyday, all the fun things I had on my list, household chores, participating in multiple family events and admin (bleugh). I have not been short of things to do.

The Admin has been the tricky part. Admin admin admin, death by admin. By this, I mean personal paperwork and just 'stuff' to sort out with moving, the house, phone, furniture, finances and of course - wedmin (wedding planning admin). Credit goes to other friends for coining the terms lifemin and wedmin. Stemming from my 'overdoing' nature (you'll see from previous posts) I seem to be more than ever addicted to my to do list and this could grow as long as I wanted it to. I think it comes from wanting to see things checked off at the end of the day, knowing I have things to do and feeling productive that I've completed the tasks and see the use of them to more than just myself. I'm clinging on to this list as some form of pillar whilst I don't have a work schedule. However, for some reason I have swayed more towards checking off admin from my boring serious to do list, than the fun to do list - why?! Again, self judgment restraining order coming in. Disecting this (or potentially over analysing), maybe it's because I find those things easier, I see them as more productive than spending time on playing the guitar, or playing around with a camera all day and I feel a little selfish just spending the day on what I want. It still doesn't all quite make sense if I'm avoiding the things that supposedly bring me more joy. I seem to have an issue in letting myself relax and just be and literally waste away the day. Even stranger now I don't even have the excuse of 'I don't have time'. People would die for this experience and luxury of time. What am I blocking? What am I afraid of or fighting? Maybe I feel overwhelmed with the possibilities and it's easier to stick to the things I know how to solve. I'm not sure but it's a pattern I want to try and break, I need to break. I don't think admin is my passion, even though action is! I'm not going to crack my code of creativity and passion if I continue like this though so I have banned admin (both lifemin and wedmin) in the mornings before lunch, hence I am finally able to get this blog out :) The morning is now for self care and my more 'fun to do list', exploring things I'm curious about, contacting people doing those things and taking action against things I'm interested in.

On a more positive note, I have got into some form of routine on daily morning walks and meditation after dropping my fiance to the station. Somehow saying 'good morning' to the fellow walkers (mainly dog walkers) that you start to see at the same time every morning has been a nice substitute to the 'good mornings' to colleagues in the office every day. On the days it rains I will go to the gym. I've signed up to regular classes, personal training and pilates lessons. I know this is important for me and gives me positive energy so must keep the discipline to go.

I have also loved spending more time with family and old friends. I can tell it has been time to reconnect and this is one of the biggest reasons we decided to move back to the UK. Although I can't do every event I would like to with people and need to find a balance, it has been awesome to be physically back and closer to everyone.

My goals for month 2? Less of the serious stuff and more of the fun stuff. I will finish up some long awaiting posts on previous lifestyle adventures and book in another 3 big ones plus complete 3 mini ones. Am also extremely excited to head back to the US for Thanksgiving - cannot wait!

Counting on you guys to hold me accountable :)